Rosh Hashana is unique among the festivals. It is the only holiday that occurs when the moon is obscured. As King David declares:  “בַּכֵּסֶה לְיוֹם חַגֵּנוּ” “At the concealed time for our festival” (Tehillim 81:4). 

The Gemara explains that this verse refers to Rosh Hashana, the festival that takes place when the moon is hidden from view (Babylonian Talmud, Rosh Hashana 8a). 

At first glance, this seems puzzling. If Rosh Hashana celebrates the creation of the world and the coronation of Hashem as King, would it not be more fitting for it to occur when the moon shines in its fullness? 

Yet perhaps therein lies one of the deepest lessons of the Day of Judgment. 

The moon appears to diminish until it disappears entirely. Yet its disappearance is not a sign of loss. It is the necessary prelude to renewal. Precisely when the moon is hidden, a new cycle is already beginning. 

As we enter the month of Elul, many of us naturally focus on our shortcomings. We examine the past year and become painfully aware of how much remains unfinished. Looking at ourselves, at our nation, and at the world around us, we may sometimes feel diminished, like the moon at the end of the month. 

This feeling has been especially palpable during the prolonged months of war. Since last Elul, uncertainty has become a familiar companion. Despite the B’erot Bat Ayin bomb shelter standing strong since October 2023, some students never arrived due to cancelled flights and concerns about the security situation. Others who did arrive carried worries for loved ones serving on the front lines, grief for those who had fallen, and anxieties about the future. Like so many institutions throughout Israel, we have faced challenges that often seemed beyond our capacity. Yet the hidden moon teaches that what appears to be decline may actually be concealed ascent. 

Rabbi Pinchas of Koritz explains that before Rosh Hashana the entire creation enters a state he calls dormita – a spiritual sleep. The worlds, the angels, and even the Torah itself undergo a process of withdrawal for the sake of receiving renewed life. Just as a person sleeps in order to awaken refreshed, so too creation experiences a hidden contraction before receiving a new influx of vitality (Imrei Pinchas, Sha’ar Shabbat U’Mo’adim §§105–110). 

This teaching sheds new light on the hidden moon of Rosh Hashana. Hiddenness is not merely an absence of light. It is the womb of renewal. 

Concerning the comparison between Israel and the moon, our sages teach: “Why were Israel compared to the moon? Just as the moon governs by day and by night, so Israel govern in this world and in the World to Come. Perhaps they are deficient, like the moon which diminishes each month? Therefore, Scripture says: ‘Radiant as the sun.’ Just as the sun is complete, so Israel are complete in mitzvot” (Midrash Tehillim 22). 

At first glance, this teaching seems puzzling. If Israel are compared to the moon, why emphasize the completeness of the sun? Perhaps the answer lies in the very nature of the moon itself. Although it appears to diminish, its fullness is merely concealed from view. Even when only a thin sliver is visible, the moon itself remains whole. Its apparent deficiency is merely hiding its fullness. So too, during Elul as we examine our lives, it is easy to focus on our deficiencies and failings. Like the waning moon, we may feel diminished by our shortcomings and by the challenges facing our people. Yet the Midrash reminds us that the apparent diminishment of the moon does not reflect its essential nature. Beneath what appears lacking lies an inner wholeness waiting to be revealed. The task of teshuvah is to reveal that hidden fullness and allow it to shine once again. 

Women understand this rhythm especially well. Much of the most important work in the world takes place quietly and unseen. Seeds germinate beneath the soil. A child develops hidden within the womb long before its presence becomes visible. Character is built through countless unnoticed choices. Spiritual growth often occurs beneath the surface, known only to Hashem. Like the concealed moon, the deepest transformations frequently take place in hiddenness.

As we stand before Hashem on Rosh Hashana, let us not despair over what remains incomplete. Instead, let us trust that even in moments of apparent darkness, Hashem is renewing us. The hidden moon reminds us that growth is not always visible.

I grew up in the Bukharian  Jewish community in Queens, New York. From an  early age, I felt drawn to   helping others heal. Today I serve as an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, massage therapist,   and   counselor. My passion is helping people reconnect with themselves through bodywork,   meditation,   breathwork, and emotional healing, creating a safe space where they can experience   greater wholeness   and inner peace. I often say that I work for Hashem because I see my profession as   a way of serving Him   by helping others. 

 Although I loved my work and found it deeply meaningful, I sensed that something was missing. I had   achieved many of the goals I had set for myself and was helping people every day, yet I longed for   something deeper. I wanted to be surrounded by Torah, true sisterhood, and people whose lives were   centered on loving and serving Hashem. 

One day I spent three hours in hitbodedut (personal prayer), pouring out my heart to Hashem. 

I prayed, “Hashem, I’ve learned  my massage practice. I’m helping people through therapy and alternative healing. But now I want to be surrounded by Torah, true sisterhood, honest people, and people who genuinely fear and love You.” 

I had no idea that my answer would come in the form of an unexpected phone call. 

While I was still seeking direction, Rebbetzin Chana Bracha Siegelbaum called and asked, “Bella, when are you coming to Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin Elul program? We need you.” 

At that moment, I knew Hashem was answering my prayer.

Still, I asked Him for one more sign. I prayed that if this was truly His will, He would help me find a ticket to Israel for less than $700. Soon afterward, I found a flight for only $680. There was no longer any doubt in my mind that Hashem was leading me to Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin. 

What began as an Elul program became an entire year of transformation. 

As someone who spends her life helping others heal emotionally and physically, I discovered that I also needed a place where I could continue my own growth, to reset and heal my nervous system. B’erot gave me that gift. Through Torah learning, heartfelt prayer, music, joyful celebrations, and authentic relationships, I found a community that nourished my own soul while strengthening my ability to serve others. It reminded me that the deepest healing begins with our relationship with Hashem. 

Every day at B’erot became part of the answer to my prayer. Learning Torah from Rebbetzin Chana Bracha Siegelbaum and the other inspiring teachers, celebrating Rosh Chodesh and the Yamim Tovim together, sharing Shabbat meals, singing, and living among women who genuinely wanted to grow closer to Hashem created the environment I had longed for. Instead of always holding space for everyone else, I found a place where I, too, could be nurtured and find the balance between holding and being held. The warmth, wisdom, and personal guidance I received from the teachers and mentors at B’erot Bat Ayin helped me grow not only in Torah knowledge but also in my relationship with Hashem, people around me and in my own inner healing. 

B’erot also taught me that genuine spiritual growth begins with personal responsibility. I learned that my thoughts, my speech, and my actions are deeply intertwined, and that true inner work requires taking responsibility for each of them. At the same time, I was blessed with the opportunity both to guide others and to be guided myself – emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. 

Looking back, I can clearly see Hashem’s Hand guiding every step of my journey. He answered my prayers in ways I never could have imagined, leading me to a place that truly became my spiritual home. I am deeply grateful for the love, respect, and genuine care I experienced at Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin. Being surrounded by women who sincerely love Hashem strengthened my own relationship with our Creator and reminded me that every heartfelt prayer is heard. 

Today, I know with certainty that when we place our trust in Hashem and continue asking Him for guidance, He leads us exactly where we are meant to be and reveals just how good life can become.